


Self-control

by Beachrat



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Exhibitionism, M/M, Masturbation, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Octane | Octavio Silva, Vaginal Fingering, more like porn with something that's incoherently written but we don't talk about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:00:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21676396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beachrat/pseuds/Beachrat
Summary: The only thing he hasn't tried yet is taking their personal business to the ring. If Octane, the daredevil, initiates something truly dangerous in the middle of a match, with the very real possibility that people could catch him, then maybe he could get a reaction out of his stoic boyfriend.Octane finds out another secret that Crypto has been hiding.
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Octane | Octavio Silva
Comments: 2
Kudos: 105





	Self-control

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I just started writing this and tried very hard to save what I could but... I had a lot of trouble with what I was trying with the plot honestly so don't worry about it too much. lmao
> 
> Also tried an exercise in writing in present tense. It's harder than it seems!

He can't look at Tae Joon.

Whenever he does, it's like his eyes are seeing right through him, his gaze reaching for something deep inside of him and pulling it out to be exposed to anyone who is willing to watch _that_ spectacle. Tae Joon looks at him like he's the only thing that matters to him, and that idea is scary to Octavio. It's terrifying to know that he is actually that important to someone. So he can't fully grasp it, though he tries. It's hard to believe that anyone besides Ajay would care about his well being after not even his own parents would bother to connect with him.

Tae Joon doesn't show it the same way Ajay does, either, which worries Octavio all the more. He is used to Ajay's nagging, her anger when he's put himself into troubling situations and her insistence when she tells him to stop. It shows him she cares, and it is the only way he knows she is there for him in the long run, because she doesn't walk away. Tae Joon is different. He doesn't stop him from performing dangerous stunts, doesn't complain when he steals another of his shirts with no intention of ever returning it, doesn't even care the slightest bit when Octavio decides to film himself with his drone when he pushes his fingers inside himself. He knows his boyfriend hates surprises and finding weird things on his drone's hard drive, but he's only asked Octavio to stop once, and then never did it again.

_Did he keep the footage?_ He couldn't have leaked it — the tech is secure, and Tae Joon would never post anything like this. It would draw too much attention. If he's not getting anything out of their relationship and he's not leaving... Then how is Octavio supposed to read his behavior?

So he looks for some sort of reprimand. He wants to find out exactly what the other man's limit is, but Tae Joon has been the most patient boyfriend he's ever experienced, which is new, unfamiliar, and scary, in a world that is as impatient with Octavio as Octavio is with the world. This unconditional support must have a reason, and it must end _somewhere,_ and he needs to know where that end is.

The only thing he hasn't tried yet is taking their personal business to the ring. If Octane, the daredevil, initiates something _truly_ dangerous in the middle of a match, with the very real possibility that people could catch him, then maybe he could get a reaction out of his stoic boyfriend. The thought of being finally punished for his actions drives him to curl his fingers and he moans as he comes undone in front of the drone hovering near him. He can't wait until Tae Joon sees this one.

—

The next time he makes use of the drone is when Tae Joon is using it at the start of a match. Octavio is glad they are in a squad together again — it has been a while, and matches had been quite lonely without his boyfriend in his squad. It is just the two of them this time. When it was announced that they are going to experiment with squads of two people, there wasn't a moment's hesitation as to who were pairing up with each other. "Hey," Octavio's voice crackles through the comms. He takes one of the drone's wings, gently, and struts towards a corner in the building he just looted. Tae Joon doesn't seem to steer it away, which only serves to embolden the daredevil. "You wanna know a secret?"

"Is it about how you are going to get us killed soon?" The drone tilts down a bit and Tae Joon notices the distinct lack of a camera on Octavio's person. _Did he forget? No, he wouldn't. This is intentional._

"No. Well, maybe. Would you mind?" Octavio loosens the straps around his thighs and slides down his shorts together with his underwear. He hears a hitch of breath from the other side when he reaches down to spread himself with his fingers. The drone lowers, tilts up to get a better view, and Octavio is slightly disappointed at the lack of resistance, but the feeling of being watched and the danger of getting caught in the act is all the more exhilarating. He circles a finger around his clit and takes a breath as deep as his binder would let him. Tae Joon must be gripping his controller tightly now, and with how audible his breathing is through the comms he must be enjoying this too. Behind the mask, Octavio grins. He sits down in a tiny space under the nearby stairs. "You don't mind, right? You would've punished me already if you did. You let me get away with anything." He slides one finger inside, carefully, testing if he's ready. Tae Joon's voice over the comms sounds so soothing that he feels himself loosen up.

"Do you _want_ me to punish you?"

"Uhnh-" Octavio doesn't hold back the low noise he makes in response. "Yeah. I'll get us both killed like this. What are you gonna do about it? EMP me?"

"We wiped three squads earlier. I got everything I need from this round. Why would I be mad about this?"

Is he testing him? Octavio's blood boils a little bit, but he wills himself to relax as he tries to find a steady rhythm with his finger. "You-" He swallowed. "You love me, right?"

"Yes, I do."

"Aren't you, y'know... Worried about me?"

"Of course I am. But you're like a cat. You're unstoppable, and if you fall, you'll always land the right way. Whenever I don't have that faith, I'll be there to catch you."

Octavio stops moving.

"Also, I'm in the room right above you. If you want me, you should come here."

Okay, now he's just embarrassed. The matter-of-fact way Tae Joon said all of that makes him want to curl up and he's pretty sure he did that on purpose. Octavio brings his knees together to block the drone's view of him. _What the hell? He just lets him do these things? Why?_ Octavio would stop for anyone worth his time and his boyfriend knows it. _It isn't like him to keep indulging him like this..._ Or does he just not know him as well as he thought he did?

To both his relief and chagrin, the drone leaves to scout the building for enemies. "I hear someone. Get ready."

Octavio almost wants to finish this match without his pants out of spite, but he thinks better of it, and gets dressed. 

—

He tries it again the next chance he gets. The match drags on, with the two of them barely managing to win a team fight in Capitol City. After looting what they need, they move to the top floor of the building. The drone is left alone on the other side of the room as Tae Joon looks out of the window through his scope, taking the occasional pot shot at Pathfinder peeking out from behind a car across the street. Octavio pulls up a chair in front of the drone and shoves a hand down his pants.

Tae Joon doesn't even look at him, but he notices. "You can't keep doing that and expect not to be shot."

"Then make me stop," Octavio says, bluntly, as he slides down his shorts just enough to expose himself to the drone. He tugs at his clit and lets out a labored breath.

"What's the occasion?" Tae Joon still isn't looking at him. Octavio's patience is starting to run out. "I got five kills earlier," he lies, and this is when his boyfriend lowers his weapon and looks at him. "And you can't wait until after the match?"

"No." Octavio is thrusting two fingers inside himself now. He is clearly still worked up from earlier, and there is definitely something up. Tae Joon is about to say something about it when he hears a squad enter the building below them. He lunges at Octavio and pulls him into a corner before he takes out his controller, steering his drone somewhere else to distract the other squad. Soon enough, it is destroyed, and Tae Joon sighs.

"I need you to be quiet for a bit."

Octavio pulls down his mask. "Finger me."

"What?"

"Finger me or I will take this stim and—"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, I _dare._ "

A hand covers Octavio's mouth then, and he's not given the luxury of being able to move his head freely as Tae Joon's other hand moves between his legs. A surprised moan is muffled against his boyfriend's palm and he stiffens.

"I would say this is unlike you, but you always like to push the limits, don't you?" His voice is low in Octavio's ear, and it gives him goosebumps. He searches for anything to hold onto, and finds purchase in his boyfriend's jacket. His fingers clench around the fabric when Tae Joon runs his fingers along his clit. This is torture. He wants to scream, but part of him doesn't really want to attract more squads to them. Instead, more words are whispered into his ear, and he nearly doesn't process them because they accompany delicious little strokes from his boyfriend's fingers. "I was wondering when you'd try something like this. It's irresponsible, you know? You could get killed."

Octavio moans pathetically when Tae Joon presses a finger inside. His legs spread with a creak of the metal holding up his weight. If it wasn't for him being pressed against his boyfriend's chest with such force, he would've already taken charge by now. Tae Joon is always slow, always deliberate, and it always drives him up the wall.

"Mmffrfgh." Octavio licks his palm. It only makes Tae Joon grip him tighter. "Looks to me like you need to be disciplined after all."

_Why does he like this so much?_

This is it — this is what he wanted all along. It isn't the kind of attention he was initially looking for, but it is _better_. Another finger joins the first one, and finally, _finally,_ they curl inside him in the way he likes so much. Octavio can't look down, but he feels his boyfriend's fingers pull out and brush against his clit on the upstroke, and he can't take it any longer. He squirms against him, moving a hand from his jacket to his thigh, gripping him impatiently. He feels it building up. He is so close, _so close_ —

But the enemy squad they thought they distracted, is back in the building. Tae Joon stops moving when he hears their footsteps above and below them, and Octavio seems to have gotten the memo too as his moans die down.

Tae Joon seems to deliberate something, and then, with renewed vigor, starts moving his hand again. Octavio seems to be surprised by this, unable to do anything but grit his teeth to avoid making noise. He hears the voices of Lifeline and Mirage, the _last_ people he would want to see this. Octavio Silva, trapped helplessly in the arms of a fellow Legend as he gets a handjob in full view of the enemy... If he still had his legs, they would have given out, too. And yet, the danger of getting caught only makes him squirm more in Tae Joon's grip. He feels exposed, but not in a bad way — like when he would get off in front of the other man's drone. He feels how wet he is in his boyfriend's palm, the texture of his skin lost to how slick his fingers are, and he doesn't want to get shot, _honest,_ but he lets out a long, drawn-out, desperate noise that he's sure someone on the roof would be able to hear, but luckily, no response comes. He feels Tae Joon's heartbeat against his back when it quickens, and that's when he realizes—

Tae Joon likes this too.

He likes the thrill of danger as much as Octavio does. He doesn't get worried because the surge of adrenaline during the Games affects him just as much. Octavio frowns, expression obscured behind goggles, and despite being so close to coming that he can _taste_ it, he finds the strength to raise his hands to pry Tae Joon's hand from his face.

He tries to keep his voice low, but his speech comes out as a stage-whisper. "You like this too, huh?" He spits out. "Pervert."

"Says the one who wanted me to do this."

"Come _on_ , you like this just as much as I do. Stop being a coward and— _hijo de p_ —"

The hand returns to his mouth when Tae Joon tugs at his clit. Octavio leans his head back, heaving, and Tae Joon gets close to his ear once more. He continues massaging his folds, slowly again, both in apology for being so rough and to irritate Octavio further.

"You're right. I like the thrill. But unlike you, I can control myself."

He looks around. The squad is still in the building, but they haven't found them yet. It would only be a matter of time.

"You know, I watch your videos in the privacy of my own room, and I expected to be doing this somewhere safer. But if you insist—" He curls his fingers again, agonizingly slowly, and Octavio responds with a high-pitched noise from the back of his throat. _He kept the recordings?_ The thought sends a tingle down his spine. The enemy squad is checking the stairs now, footsteps getting closer, and Tae Joon decides to pick up the pace once more. He moves his other hand to unholster his R-99, just in case, but fails to realize that he is no longer covering Octavio's mouth. The daredevil is helping himself now, grabbing at the arm jerking him off so he can set his own pace. He bucks his hips into Tae Joon's hand like his life depends on it and for just a moment, he forgets where he is. His back arches, his muscles tense and a loud string of Spanish curses leaves him unabashedly, finishing off his climax with an obscene noise Tae Joon had only ever heard in _porn_.

The enemies _definitely_ heard that.

Octavio slumps against Tae Joon with a dopey grin on his face, but as the hacker is trying to figure out what to do, he hears Lifeline scream from the floor below them.

"I'm not hearing this again! I'm out!"

The fast footsteps, the bangs of the doors shutting and Mirage's distant "What?" is enough to let them know the coast is clear.

"You're sweating," Octavio murmurs against Tae Joon's neck, amusement clear in his voice.

"Put your pants back on."

"Take your hand off my pussy."

"Right. Sorry."

**Author's Note:**

> sorry Lifeline I love you
> 
> yes, "again".
> 
> translations:  
> Octane is about to say 'son of a bitch' in Spanish
> 
> bye


End file.
